Letting Him In
by FanficAddictGal
Summary: Killian reflects on the instances Emma has allowed him to see her vulnerable side. Lots of fluff!


All rights belong to their respective owners! I just borrowed. :)

Letting Him In

An OUAT Fanfic

She was a stubborn lass, his Swan.

Despite the progress she had made the last few years, he still saw evidence of those strongly built emotional walls.

He observed the occasions she shielded the town, her family, her lad, when she wasn't at her best. It pained him to see her act out the unnecessary role, pushing her weaknesses aside when Storybrooke was in peril.

She'd smother the telltale sniffles and sneezes when her body couldn't fight off illness any longer. She used the shrugging on of her leather jacket to hide yawns that announced her exhaustion. She'd nearly drowned in Neverland, almost frozen in an ice cave, lost herself to darkenss, been trapped in the Underworld...and she'd barely had time to recover from each ordeal before another challenge presented itself.

However, it was different with him. He couldn't help but feel pride at the fact his sword-fighting, magic wielding love never felt the need to keep up the pretense with him. She trusted him enough to be vulnerable when in his company. The knowledge alone made his chest swell, the accompanying feeling of his heart dropping to his belly a welcome one.

Having known each other for some time before becoming romantically involved, they were already comfortable with one another. Their courtship began in a casual manner- dinners at Granny's feasting on grilled cheese and the battered onions she adored, a stroll along the docks...an evening viewing her favorite Netflix on the magic box she called a television.

* * *

It was one such night that he first bore witness to his being the exception to the long-standing rule.

Having already dined on an assortment of confections, salty popped corn being a requirement, they had abandoned themselves to a late night film. They had been ready for a relaxing evening in and the promise of it being crisis free added to the anticipation.

Emma had readily cuddled into his side, her blonde head finding the hollow of his neck as she settled. He, in turn, had draped his arm around her bare shoulders, securing her position.

They quickly became lost in whatever tale had been playing, a comfortable warmth stealing over them both. Then her hand had come up to rub at her eyes. He felt the shift and watched as the palm stopped momentarily at her lips. The inhale was almost inperceivable but he knew it for what it was. A yawn.

A delicate one to be sure but that she felt safe enough to allow it with him close did give him hope. He made no comment, knowing that any mention of her drowsiness would likely cause her to withdraw behind those damned walls. He had no intention of adding his name to the list of people she needed to be strong for.

Moments later, his silence was rewarded when she succumbed again. This one was deeper and she struggled to keep it hidden behind her fingers. He swallowed the tell-tale lump in his throat while relishing the opportunity of seeing her so unguarded, so open. Instinctively, he squeezed her arm and was relieved when, instead of pulling away, she burrowed her head into the fabric of his shirt. She gave a small grunt of contentment before mumbling, "Ur comfy." He chuckled.

He could tell she accepted her fate when after a couple minutes of companionable silence, the last remnant of tension dropped from her shoulders. She slumped wearily against him. And then, he got the rare pleasure of seeing his lass letting go completely.

She inhaled deeply as the yawn overtook her. He felt her shoulders shake beneath his palm as her jaw stretched, showcasing just how utterly exhausted she was. Her own hand remained limp in her lap. She chose instead to turn further into his chest, the heat of her skin causing goosebumps to pepper his own.

When her breath hitched at the top, he felt as if his heart had experienced the dip from a tremendous wave, pitching forward and momentarily leaving him winded. When at sea, he knew the result was due to adrenalin, the thirst for the unexpected. He was also well acquainted with these symptoms in another manner and greeted them happily. He was, after all, a man in love.

The puff of air at his collar and related hum brought the yawn to an end and she swiped at the moisture hanging on her lids. The constant motion of the past several weeks had, at last, caught up with her.

Now he felt he could risk a comment. "That was quite a yawn love," he spoke softly. He kissed the crown of her head. "I do believe someone is in dire need of some rest."

He expected her to deny everything and insist she was fine to continue but was surprised again when she simply nodded.

The couch shifted as he moved to assist her up. Her bed would be far more conducive to a good night's sleep. Seeing his intention, she utilized her complete weight to anchor him back down to his previous position and he couldn't help but laugh at her determination. Even exhausted, she was obstinate.

"Stay right here pirate. Don't make me get the handcuffs."

He grinned. She couldn't see his raised brow but certainly she knew him well enough to believe it was in place. "As you wish."

Satisfied that he wouldn't make a second attempt, Emma threw an arm around his middle. She yielded to the sleepiness with a lazy yawn before he even had a chance to cover her with a blanket. He located the remote and shut the tv off with a dull click. His bootless feet found the coffee table. He would not be leaving when there was such a treasure to be held.

Their sofa was remarkably comfortable and as if on cue, his own body felt the tempting pull of sleep much needed. It had been a challenging last few days. He stifled a yawn of his own behind a ringed fist so he wouldn't disturb the woman sleeping at his chest. It wasn't too long after she dropped up that he followed her.

* * *

He had always been amazed at Emma's ability to remain in top form physically regardless of what was thrown in her path.

After being rescued from the cave's icy prison, the violent shivers, quaking and the bluish tinge to her lips had him quite frantic. Their fear (his, Henry's and her parents) had been she would develop a fever or pneumonia due to her prolonged exposure to the cold. But, with the help of the space heater and layers of blankets she had come through it none the worse for wear. He had no doubt his willingness to share body head also aided in her recovery...an assessment that made her snort in disbelief.

Unfortunately, one's immune system can only prevent illness for so long, especially when dealing with a seemingly never ending source of high stress situations.

They had made plans to see each other for their customary dinner at Granny's and after having only spent a few hours on the Jolly Roger, Killian found himself craving hot cocoa with cinnamon. The brisk fall air had cooled considerably and the warm drink would definitely assist in removing the chill from his bones.

He had moved down to his old Captain's quarters with another task in mind but he suddenly felt the strong desire to boil tea. He had just added a splash of rum to the steaming tea when he heard the echoing thud of boots on deck. There was an obvious shuffle to the steps. He had initially believed it to be Emma but her stride was always resolute, unfaltering.

"Killian?" All puzzlement was abandoned at her voice.

He took the stairs two at a time upward and met her before she could climb down. The narrow steps proved treacherous even on the best of days.

She stood in her customary red jacket, hair wind-blown and golden. She had always been an open book to him and what he saw reflected in her face gave him pause. Her eyes were glassy, red rimmed and she seemed a little pale. The metal of his hook fogged slightly as it approached her brow. If he were to guess, his beautiful Savior was unwell.

"Swan? Are you.."

His focus was immediately broken as her stance changed. Before he could finish his question, she turned from him slightly, her small nose scrunched up, brought the crook of her leather clad arm up to her mouth and gave a hearty sneeze.

He swore his insides became like seawater. How he hated being right. "Oh love," he murmured. He didn't even attempt to hide the sympathy coloring his tone. "Bless you."

She acknowledged his statement with a nod, giving a pitiable sniff. Her hand remained at her nose until he offered the handkerchief from his coat pocket. His heart twisted at her weary sigh.

"You know how my parents are and Henry is at Regina's. I couldn't stay at the loft or hide out in the station. They weren't going to buy the "just a headache" excuse for too much longer."

He made a small noise of agreement. So she had come to him.

He felt the moisture on his shirt and his concern grew. Swan rarely cried...she must be really feeling under the weather if it brought her to tears. "You know you are always welcome here darling. Am I to assume that you'll allow me to care for you until you are recovered?"

Her breathy yes was followed by a short coughing fit. They were harsh against her palm. He lightly rubbed her shoulders as it subsided, her fist drooping back to her side. "This bloody sucks."

He huffed out a laugh against her hair. "Aye, that it does, but we'll get you right as rain in no time."

She shivered as a gust of cool air whipped around their legs. "Let's get you into bed lass."

Despite her obvious illness, her wit remained in tact. "Are you planning on joining me Captain?"

"Believe me Swan. That's the furthest thing from my mind in your current state. I might be a pirate but I'm also a gentleman. I would never take advantage of you."

He brought her chin up to meet his gaze, "When you and I do share a bed it will be for far more pleasant reasons...and activities."

The sweetness of his speech was almost her undoing. He brushed at the fresh onslaught of tears winding down her fevered cheeks. "That was all kinds of unfair."

He simply smiled at her response and kissed her. It was a good thing he hadn't intentions to prolong the contact as she unexpectedly broke away, her whole body convulsing at the force of another sneeze. She looked up at him through lids hovering at half mast, her elbow still up around her mouth. An understanding smile curved his lips. It faltered at a second harsh sneeze, almost bending her in two.

"Bless you love," he whispered into her ear, worry causing his accent to thicken. "Come on. I have blankets, pillows and hot tea with rum in my quarters."

At her raised brow he admitted, "I might have been expecting you to grace me with your presence. You were sniffling quite a bit yesterday during our night of Netflix. I wanted to be prepared."

Wrapping an arm around her trembling shoulders he maneuvered them to go below deck where the aforementioned items waited. She stalled their trek with an arm to his chest. "Thank you Killian," the words came out on a croak.

"Anytime Emma. Anytime."

* * *

Milah had always begged off appearing in front of the crew in any capacity during her most sensitive time of month. During those days, his quarters were heavy with the fragrance of various herbs to soothe her symptoms.

Emma simply downed the small pills which she claimed were for pain relief, ate a wildly unusual amount of chocolate and tried to function as normally as possible. Every so often she would grimace in pain at an intense cramp but otherwise, give no indication of her condition.

Being an avid observer of all her tells and quirks, Killian's first hint at her approaching monthly storm was her abrupt distaste for cinnamon. The strongly scented powder which she had long added to her cocoa at present made her nose turn up and her abdomen roll unpleasantly. She could barely stomach the smell when her parents and son indulged in the beverage at their family dinners.

The front door pulled open with an audible curse and he smirked as the very women in question carelessly dragged herself to one of their empty kitchen chairs. "Long day love?"

A growl was her only response as her forehead met the cool edge of the table, cradled partly in her crossed arms. A wisp of her brilliantly golden hair fell to tickle her nose. She blew it away angrily. Her womanly trouble appeared to have reached its peak.

He had stocked the far cabinet before her day's end for this very reason. He withdrew his hand from her shoulder and rummaged through the fully equipped portal. Within seconds, he filled his arms with an motley collection of everything his Swan favored when her body was in flux and gingerly laid them on the table.

She perused the items, her brow furrowed adorably. Lavender scented bath oil, a heating pad, a bottle of Ginger Ale, fuzzy socks, a bottle of extra strength Midol...all marvelously free of the spice her system couldn't seem to stand.

"Have I mentioned how much I love you Killian Jones?" She grasped at the lapels of his coat and he swore she purred out the question.

"You might have mentioned something of that nature Swan but I'm always keen in hearing it again."

All impishness disappeared as she crashed her lips into his.

"Damn it!"

Try as he might, Killian couldn't hide his mirth at her reaction. His chest rumbled with silent laughter. She awarded him with a fierce glare when she was able.

"It's not funny pirate! It's embarassing!"

"Only if you believe it is Swan. It happens to us all."

"Really, I've never seen you...you..." Her mounting frustration caused her to forget the word. Instead she gestured wildly, palms upward in exasperation.

"Hiccup?" He provided somewhat innocently. She answered his query by doing exactly that, her shoulders shuddering. He gave a throaty chuckle.

"I assure you love, in my 300 years I have had the experience. Once, it even occurred when I was conversing with a superior in the Navy. I was so anxious to prove my worth, I worked myself into quite the frenzy before our meeting." His lips turned up in the corners at the memory. "If nothing else, it broke the ice in our discourse."

She harrumphed before a hiccup interrupted her.

"No one thinks less of you because of it. Why does it irritate you so?"

"Because I don't want you to see me like this!" The unforeseen declaration made his eyes widen but he quickly masked his initial surprise and grinned.

"Do you recall..." He stepped closer to where she stood, fists clenched tight in anger, "some months ago, I told you I was a fan of every part of you?"

Her fury disappeared as quickly as it arrived. She nodded and hiccuped.

"Well, that includes instances such as these. You don't have control over it aye? So don't let it worry you." He circled his arms around her frame and made no mention of the hiccup that followed.

"Besides," his eyes held a spark of amusement tempered by love, "you hiccup adorably."


End file.
